Sadness like all our emotions, is healthy and meant to help us better respond to ourselves, others, and the world around us. It’s ok to feel sad. This week, I’ve gone through many emotions and those who are going through a separation or divorce would be very familiar with the roller coaster sentiments. 

Easter itself is a very emotional time for all of us, who celebrate it. The life of Jesus, his ministry, the hardships he went through as a human, betrayal by those closest to him, and dying the most horrendous death, crucified and died amongst prisoners. We go through many emotions, and sadness is always there to hang out with us when no one is watching or listening. This is why having a good support system is important when we are feeling sad. We don’t want to fall into depression when we’ve gone past that short-lived sadness. Sadness isn’t all bad, it can actually help us navigate hard situations and keep sight of our relationships.

Sadness doesn’t mean we are not coping with a situation. Rather, it helps us come to terms with that situation and move on. Sadness is an important emotion that can help us adapt, accept, focus, persevere, and grow. It is a healthy emotion but like everything in life, too much of it is bad for you. Mild, short-term episodes of sadness can be beneficial. They cultivate gratitude for happy times, memorable times and serve as a powerful motivator to change. Feeling sad is a normal, healthy response to loss, disappointment, or difficulty. When you lose a loved one, a job, a marriage, or any relationship or live in isolation and loneliness, allowing yourself to feel sad can help you move past the pain (Glickman, 2022).

What does healthy sadness look like? When you feel down or blue for a few days, that is sadness. It happens and is a response to a clear trigger. Mild short-term moments of sadness can be beneficial. Sadness can even act as a muse, spurring the creation of music, literature, and art. I can definitely relate to this and have written some of my greatest works through times of sadness. The key to healthy sadness is how we express this emotion. It is important to let our feelings out, venting to a friend or trusted family member is a good thing. For me, whatever we say in confidence to other people means you trust them, whatever they do with that information after is a reflection of who they are. So many disagreements and drama come from people who we trust with our secrets, emotions, or problems only to turn around and share them at the drop of a hat.

There are a few healthy approaches to managing painful and sad emotions. Crying is recommended. When the heartaches, tears flow easily. Exercising and spending time with friends and family is another healthy way to deal with sadness. Finding a creative outlet, writing a journal, or just writing in general, putting emotions on paper helps you focus and it is therapeutic. Sometimes, sadness can linger and many turn to unhealthy ways of dealing. Substance abuse, inactivity, isolation, and those who have gone through mental breakdowns will stay in bed for months and simple everyday tasks become mammoth. This is when they’ll fully neglect themselves, and their hygiene. Simple things like taking a shower, brushing teeth, and dressing themselves become such a challenge that they’ll just go back to bed.

When sadness turns into depression, you’ll need much more than crying or journaling to help you pull through. Depression is a clinical disorder that can happen when you get stuck in sadness. Sadness tends to improve over time but depression is ongoing, lasting for two weeks or more. We are losing far too many people to suicide. I know of four people in my own circle of friends who have committed suicide in the last year due to depression. My heart breaks for their families who are left behind and only have memories to hold. One person committing suicide is far too many. Sadly, many of us fail to recognise when we are becoming depressed and we don’t get the help we need to cope and address it in healthy ways.

Sadness is still a valuable emotion. Easter begins with sadness and ends with joy. Joy always comes in the morning, thank God for resurrection and salvation. Jesus means hope for redemption and eternal life. Toxic positivity isn’t a good thing either. Banishing difficult emotions and only acknowledging more favourable ones, like happiness won’t help us move on. It is like a glaze to cover up, a pretty picture for social media to hide the pain. Pretending to be happy on the outside while you’re drowning on the inside can drive us deeper into depression. While we enjoy another peaceful Sunday Samoa, let’s celebrate the resurrection and hope in the renewal of our minds. Happy Easter Samoa!