As Samoans we are proud people. We are proud of our strong culture and tradition. We are proud of our faith and our family, our aiga.

Are we also proud that we have slowly started to accept that violence in our homes as part of our tradition?

On Sunday April 2, 2023, Samoa Observer published an article where a village representative in Apia lamented how violence has now become a "Samoan tradition" which is directly impacting the children.

Vaitele-tai village representative Meripa Te'o said it is so sad to see that violence has now become a Samoan tradition.

It is time to change this narrative. For far too long, we have accepted the fact that violence is part of life when it should not be. There are stories of husbands beating up their wives, fathers taking discipline to the next level, older siblings using their fists to teach their younger ones a lesson or a mother throwing stones at her children.

Former Ombudsman Maiava Iulai Toma in 2019 told the World Human Rights Council that family violence has crippled many families in the Pacific where up to 68 percent of women report experiencing physical or sexual violence by a partner in their lifetime.

“For Samoa, the first ever National Public Inquiry conducted by my Office in 2016 found that 86 per cent of women have experienced physical and bodily harm in their lifetime. The Inquiry into family violence points to violence in the up-bringing of children in Samoan homes as having a direct bearing on the violence women and girls face later in life and violence in general in society,” he said.

“The National Inquiry sought Samoan solutions to the misery Samoan women were enduring in their own homes. It was important for solutions to emanate from those who fully understood the issues and are affected on a daily basis.”

Four years down the line and the talks of solutions are still happening. The village representatives would meet and discuss how bad violence is and something should be done but nothing happening to decrease the numbers.

Violence begets violence. Children who grow up in violent homes or with the tradition of violence end up becoming violent themselves and they carry this tradition through. This is so unbecoming of a society we want to be. The tourism campaigns speak of beautiful Samoa, but violence is making us look very ugly right now.

Domestic or family violence occurs when the abuser believes that abuse is acceptable, justified, or unlikely to be reported. It may produce intergenerational cycles of abuse in children and other family members, who may feel that such violence is acceptable or condoned. Very few people recognise themselves as abusers or victims because they may consider their experiences as family disputes that just got out of control.

In abusive relationships, there may be a cycle of abuse during which tensions rise and an act of violence is committed, followed by a period of reconciliation and calm. Victims of domestic violence may be trapped in violent situations through isolation, power and control, cultural acceptance, lack of financial resources, fear, shame, or to protect children.

As a result of abuse, victims may experience physical disabilities, chronic health problems, mental illness, limited finances, and poor ability to create healthy relationships. Victims may experience psychological problems, such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

Children who live in a household with violence often show psychological problems from an early age, such as aggression which may later contribute to continuing the legacy of abuse.

The sad truth is that most Samoans are exposed to violence at an early age, so they’re used to it.  Domestic violence is commonplace in Samoan households and in some ways even considered normal. But why is this acceptable?

Spousal abuse and child abuse (both physical and sexual) run rampant on our islands, and it’s been going on for generations.  Something has to be done to change the narrative within our communities so we don’t continue to see the negative impact that domestic violence has on our people.

We tend to think that an ifoga will make things right but in reality this covers up the acts of violence either physical or sexual.

If change is to happen, it has to be an effort by everyone.  We cannot rely solely on the leaders in government or the church leaders.  We cannot just look to our village leaders or family elders.  Everyone has to band together and first recognise that violence is not normal and it’s not the answer if we want to live in peace and harmony. 

Wake up Samoa. We are so proud to wear our number one suits and march into church and we do not follow the teachings in the Bible which also preaches about taking violence out of our lives.

It is high time that we start doing things that do not require violence. It should start at home and it should start right now.