Mr Ese Tatupu’s call for Pacific islanders to change cultural customs and traditions on funerals comes at a sad time for the Samoa Observer as the management and staff are dealing with the loss of a log-serving, greatly valued and much-loved member of the paper’s family – Mrs Josephine Ainu’u Faalili.  

We also add our condolences to Rev. Dr Manutafa Faalili and family at this sad time. We are greatly sad for your loss.

But Mr Tatupu is right the subject ought to be debated.

As a funeral director Mr Tatupu has a fair idea of the funeral costs that families have to deal with; hence his comment that customs and traditions . . . continue to leave them buried in financial debts.

With his twenty (20) years in the funeral industry Mr Tatupu knows the struggles of Pasifika families to pay for their loved ones’ funerals as he is aware of the expectations and monetary struggles of Pasifika families.

According to Mr Tatupu: In our community nobody wants to talk about death. It’s not until someone dies that everybody panics,” he told the New Zealand Herald.

“In other cultures, it’s easy to talk about it – and they talk about it and plan it.

He emphasized that families should take it upon themselves to adapt or change cultural customs or traditional protocols that can leave families struggling financially.

In Samoan custom, for example, extended families are expected to bring monetary gifts as well as other items including fine mats, boxes of corned beef, and boxes of chickens.

In our culture, the extended family comes together and they chip in. Families are very supportive and giving, he said.

We weren’t brought up to understand what insurance can do for our lives. It’s not actually that much – all you’re doing is investing in yourself or your family in case something happens.

Mr Tatupu says that Pacific families in New Zealand should start conversations about death and look into pre-paid funeral plans that many homes under the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand have available.

While we agree with Mr Tatupu’s suggestion about pre-planning for funerals and the need for insurance, it is not quite as simple as he makes out.

The funeral is the second last opportunity for families to show their love and respect for the family member who has passed on. The last is the unveiling of a tombstone.

If the family member was prominent in the church that fact brings in other factors in the preparation of the funeral.

It’s quite easy to say we should adapt and change customs and traditions but customs and traditions are part of our identity as a member of our community.

According to Google the average cost of a funeral in New Zealand is $7k and the most expensive item is the casket.

In Samoa now the casket is only hired to take the body home but it is not buried; it is returned to the owner.

So changes have been made; but are they enough?

For instance, should there always be boxes of corned beef, chickens and elegis?

Can one rest in peace when one knows his/her loved ones are loaded with debts because of one’s funeral?

Is this the conversation that you want Mr Tatupu?

. .. . . . .