Have you ever disliked someone so much, you have dreams and fantasies of zapping them? Hate is a strong word because it is a strong feeling. Do you wait for that lightning from heaven to strike them dead? If you have not yet harboured such feelings in your life, you are doing well. Continue your love for the world. 

When you’ve been betrayed by someone so close to you, you will not come out of that trial the same. You just can’t. The person you become may be different and you’ll choose the best version of yourself who can face that challenge. Physically remove yourself from the situation, if you can. Leave. It is human nature to want them to pay, for them to suffer, to be in pain, to get a taste of their own medicine and it is completely normal to feel that way. It is the natural response to pain. No one enjoys prolonged pain. It confirms that we are human, blood and flesh. Revenge is a torturous path, a slivering path we cannot come back from should we seek the ultimate ending.

There are some things that we must remember before seeking revenge. Be prepared to pay the price. It only seeks to harm the person seeking it. Revenge will always come at a price. Are you willing to pay that price? The actual execution of revenge carries a bitter cost of time, emotional and physical energy and even lives. Those who don’t have the chance to take revenge are forced in a way to move on, focus on something better or different and feel happier in turn. Revenge will cost you and the price is high.

Know what you are losing in the act. No one wins in revenge, although it may feel like it to one party. In the end, you’ll have to live with the consequences of your actions. You will remember what you said in the heat of the moment. Be prepared for the consequences. They may not be instant but they are coming.

Getting even with someone means we will have to pay back ten folds what that person did to us. Who are we really losing in the process? Ourselves. Retribution or desire for vengeance can feel good in the beginning. Even though the first few moments feel rewarding in the brain, psychological scientists have found that instead of quenching hostility, revenge prolongs the unpleasantness of the original offence. Instead of delivering justice, revenge often creates only a cycle of retaliation.

If you must take your revenge, take it out on yourself. Heal and move on. Turn it into something productive by focusing on your own growth and development. Believe me, it is far more rewarding than wasting your time trying to repay the hurt by betrayers. Spend that negative energy on your own goals. Whatever goals you left on the back burner while you sacrificed for others, take them on again. Vengeance really doesn’t belong to us. He’s already fought the battle for us and so we leave the rest to Him. In the end, each of us will stand in front of God and his just judgement. If we truly understand that, then we won’t be looking for destruction. We can slowly let go and it becomes easier with time.

Revenge will change us and definitely not into the people we envisioned ourselves to be. We each must examine ourselves. What do we need to work on? In our own hearts? It is easier to blame others for the choices we make, and how we responded to the situation and sometimes we don’t even know the reasons behind the choices.

David used to pray for God to annihilate his enemies. God did. So, don’t be deceived that God is just all love. Revenge is deadly and rotten regardless of how attractive it is. You can say ‘no’ when it’s offered to you. Seek wise counsel if you must but don’t give in to petty payback. While we enjoy another Sunday Samoa, remember that revenge is not worth your time and energy.